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AMES' SERIES OF 

lNDARD and minor drama. 



NO. 106 



LODGINGS FOR TWO 



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WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES, AND EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS 
OP THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COS- 
TUMES, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, 
AS PERFORMED AT THE PRINCIPAL 
AMERICAN AND ENGLISH 
THEATRES. 



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CLYDE, OHIO: 
AMES, PUBLISHER. 



AMES' SERIES OF ACTING PLAYS. 

PRICE FIFTEEN CENTS EACH. — CATALOGUES FREE. 

NO. M . p. 

12 A Capital Match, fat'ce, 1 act, by J. M. Morton 3 2 

30 A. Day Well Spent, farce, 1 act, by John Oxenford 7 5 

2 A Desperate Game, comic drama, 1 act, by Morton 3 2 

75 Adrift, temp drama, 3 acts, by C. W. Babcock, M. D 6 4 

80 Alarmingly Suspicious, comedietta, 1 act, J. P. Simpson. ..4 '6 

39 A Life's Revenge, drama, 3 acts, by W. E. Suter 7 5 

78 An Awful Criminal, farce, 1 act, by J. Palgrave Simpson.. .3 3 

15 An Unhappy Pair, ethiop'n farce, 1 act, by G. W. H. Griffin ..J 1 

65 An Unwelcome Return, com' intl'd, 1 act, by Geo. A. Munson 3 1 

31 A Pet of the Public, farce, 1 act, by Edward Sterling 4 2 

21 A Romantic Attachment, eomed'ttaj 1 act, by Arthur Wood. ..3 3 
43 Arrah DeBaugh, drama, 5 acts, by F. C. Kinnaman 7 5 

73 At Last, temperance drama, 3 acts, by G. C. Vautrot 7 1 

20 A Ticket of Leave, farce, 1 act, by Watts Phillips 3 2 

100 Aurora Floyd, drama, 2 act, by W. E. Suter 7 3 

89 Beauty of Lyons, dom drama, 3 acts, by W. T. Moncrieff..ll 2 

8 Better Half, comedietta, 1 act, by T. J. Williams 5 2 

98 Black Statue, ethiopean farce, 1 act, by C. White 3 2 

113 Bill Detrick, melo drama, 3 acts, by A. Newton Field 6 4 

86 Black vs White, farce, 1 act, by Geo. S. Vautrot 4 2 

14 Brigands of Calabria, rom drama, 1 act, W. E. Suter 6 1 

22 Captain Smith, farce, 1 act, by E. Berrie 3 3 

84 Cheek will Win, farce, 1 act, by W. E. Suter 3 

49 Der two Surprises, dutch farce, 1 act, by M. A. D. Clifton ..1 1 

72 Deuce is in Him, farce, 1 act, by R. J. Raymond 5 1 

19 Did I Dream it? farce, 1 act, by J. P. Wooler 4 3 

42 Domestic Felicity, farce, 1 act, by Hattie L. Lambla 1 1 

60 Driven to the Wall, play, 4 acts, by A. D. Ames 10 3 

27 Fetter Lane to Gravesend, ethiopean farce 2 

13 Give me my Wife, farce, 1 act, by W. E. Suter 3 3 

117 Hal Hazard, military drama, 4 acts, by Fred G. Andrews...8 3 

50 Hamlet, tragedy, 5 acts, by Shakespeare 15 3 

24 Handy Andy, ethiopean farce, 1 act 2 

06 Hans, the Dutch J. P., dutch farce, 1 act, by F. L. Cutler. ..3 1 

116 Hash, farce, 1 act, by W. Henri Wilkins 4 2 

52 Henry Granden, drama, 3 acts, by Frank L. Bingham 11 8 

17 Hints on Elocution and how to become an Actor, 

103 How Sister P. got Child Baptized, etho farce, 1 act, 2 1 

76 How He Did It, comic drama, 1 act, by John Parry 3 2 

74 How to tame Mother-in-law, farce, 1 act, by H. J. Byron. ..4 2 

35 How Stout You're Getting, farce, 1 act, by J. M.Morton 5 2 

26 Hunter of the Alps, drama, 1 act, by Wiii. Dimond 9 4 

47 In the Wrong Box, etho farce, 1 act, by M. A. D. Clifton 3 

95 In the Wrong Clothes, farce, 1 act, 5 3 

77 Joe's Visit, etho farce, 1 act, by A. Leavitt & H. Eagan 2 1 

11 John Smith, farce, 1 act, by W. Hancock 5 3 

99 Jumbo Jum, farce, 1 act 4 3 

82 Killing Time, farce, 1 act, 1 1 

9 Lady Audley's Secret, drama, 2 act, by W. E. Suter 6 4 

3 Lady of Lyons, drama, 5 acts, by Bulwer 12 5 

104 Lost, temperance drama, 3 acts, by F. L. Cutler 6 2 

106 Lodgings for Two, comic sketch, 1 act, by F. L. Cutler 3 

^~ Catalogue continued on next page of cover. -*^. 



Lodgings For Two. 



A FAROE 



IN ONE ACT. 



F. L. CUTLER 



AUTHOR OP, 



The 8ham Professor, Hans, the Dutch J. P., That Boy Sara, etc. 



Printed from the Author's original Manuscript, with Sfage diree* 
ions, entrances and exits, etc., carefully marked. 



Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1880 by 

A. D. AMES, 
in the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 



CLYDE, OHIO, 
A. D. AMES, PUBLISHER.. 



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LODGINGS FOR TWO. 

CHARACTERS REPRESENTS©. 

Jonathan A Yankee from Bottle Flat. 

Chris A Dutchman 

Landlord of a Boarding House. 

COSTUME. — Appropriate for the characters. 



PROPERTIES.— Carpet sack, umbrella, bundle, aheet, newspaper, 
bottle, table, chairs, etc. 



Time of performance, tweuty minute*. 



* 



TMP92-0090U 



# 



LODGINGS FOR TWO. 



{SCENE. — Interior, with doors R. and l. .Table, chairs, etc. 
Enter Landlord l., followed by Jonathan with umbrella and bundle. 

Landlord. There, I hope this room will suit you, for it is all the 
vacant room in my house, at present! 

Jon. Wall, yaas, seems to be a purty snug sort of a place, and I 
kinder think as how I'll put up. {lays bundle and umbrella on table) 
Say yeou, jes' stay here and watch ,my things till I go down to the 
bar-room and get my carpet-sack ! 

Land. AM right! {exit Jonathan L.) I hardly think I should 
have let him had this room, for Chris has the rent paid for two 
months in advance. But then he has gone off on a visit to hia rela- 
tives, as he does every six months, and he is sure to stay a couple of 
weeks, and that is as long as this Yankee wants it. So then I can 
get two week's rent without worrying anyone. 

Enter Jonathan l., with carpet-sack. 

Well sir, I see you have found it? 

Jon. Yaas, but that confounded feller deown in the office wanted 
me to give him a quarter afore he'd give it to me, and I had to kind- 
er shet down on his windpipe, — (illustrate) — so, an he 'lowed as 
maybe I'd better take it along. Haw, haw ! {puts carpet sack on table 

Land. Ha, ha! Good joke, I declare. He will undoubtedly give 
you a wide berth in the future. Well, make yourself at home, and 
if anything disturbs you, let me know. Good night ! {exit L. 

Jon. Wall, here I am, right side up with care ! Jonathan Jeri- 
miah Jones, right from Bottle Flat, Poke Root Co., a occupier of one 
•( the beet rooms in an A No. 1 boarding house. Wonder what d&d 



4 LODGINGS FOR TWO. 

and mam would say to that I 'cause dad, when he give me that 
twenty dollars, said as how 'twould cost me about that much to come 
deown here and see the elephant. And Aunt Jerusha, she said as 
how she'd bet, a new pair of socks, that I'd get my pocket picked 
afore I was in the city a day. But here I've been a galivantin 
around all day, and she's thai* yit ! (slaps pocket) I ain't paid out 
more than a dollar yit, so I jest concluded I'd stay deown here a 
couple of weeks and kinder look around, (sits) Seems to me there 
is some of the dratedest people in this place I ever did see in all my 
born days. Why I hadn't more than got off the keers, when about 
twenty fellers rushed at me and grabbed at my carpet sick, and ev- 
ery last one of 'em a hollering "'Bus, sir, 'bus ! " Jest as though I'd 
want to bus one of them fellows, when there's Araminta deown to 
Bottle Flat, that I can bus when I wants to do any bussin. She's 
sweet on me — Araminta is. Yeou see she's the Deacon's daughter 
deown to Bottle Flat, and her and me keeps company, (looking 
•around) 'Pears to me I smell Limberger or su'thin', can't stand that 
no how, I'm rather sensitive about the malefactor organs, (takes 
carpet sack of}' table and goes r., stops, sits down — comes c.) Whew I 
Can't stand that, must have this room vermigited! (rushes off L. 

Enter Chris, r., falls over carpet sack. 

Chris. Oh; dundcr and blitzen! I falls ofer mit mineself, and 
mine floor ust preak a hale in dhe head, (gets up sloioly, discovers 
carpet ■■■,ack, picks it up) Veil, veil I here vas a nice dings. Dhe 
question, shentlemens of dhe kourt room, vas,, whos vas doze sarpet 
c:iek? and vat vas he doin' in mine room? (sees umbrella and bun- 
dle) And doze umbersol! and dat bundle! (takes up bundle) Veil, 
yah, yah ! dot looks like mine drunk ven I cooms ofer from Sher- 
many. But dot don't explain some dings, dhey dosn't pelong to me, 
ahd dhe question vas, whose ~As it? I'll ust set him in dhe hall, 
and maype he find vere he pelongs to. (puts them off L. — returns) 
I dinks I'll ust go down and see if dot nice leetle deitcher gal in dhe 
kitchen von't gif me some dings I can eat. (exit r. j 

Loud noise l., as if some one falling — Enter Jonathan h. 

Jon. Gosh all hemlock! I nearly broke my neck a faliin'over 
suthin' in the entry. Wonder what in the nation it was I 

■ Goes off L. — returns with carpet sack etc. — puts carpet sack on chair 
r. — umbrella and bundle on the. table. 

Well if that don't beat me, how on arth did them are things get out 
there, must be sunthin' loose in this house I They say as how Je-sho 
Bildad's house deown in Bottle Flat is haunted, and maybe that thar 
is what's the matter here. If it is, yeou don't ketch this chap foolin' 
.areound here long. I don't somehow eggsactly like the looks of 
things, but the landlord said that perhaps a wagon-load of limber- 
ger went by the house and caused the smell I smelled, and, come to 
think, I spect.s that's what's the matter. But abeout them things a 
gitin' out in the entry, that's what puzzles me, I'll go deown and tell 
the landlord. (exit l. 



LODGINGS FOR TWO. 6 

Enter Chris, K., vriping his mouth. • > 

Chris. Yell, I vas feel petter ash goot ! Katarine, she glf me a 
coople of quarts of sauer kraut, a piece of bologna, and about dwo 
blates of limberger. (sit* in chair, on carpet sack — fall*) O^h mine 
got in bimmel, vot's dhe matter? I vos mos' proke mineself in-dwo. 
{gets up slowly) Vat ter tyrle, how vos dot ? Nut more ash dree min - 
utes ago I puts dot feller de door out, and dhere he seta in mine 
chair ash pig ash never vas — and dot umbersol, he voe back doo ! I 
dinks somedings vas gone wrong mit dhe house. I'll ust dake dhese 
fellers and him out some more dimes, {puts them off l.) Veil, I 
gets dhe newspaper and reads dhe news. {exit it. 

Enter Jonathan v., with carpet sack etc., puts them upon table. 

Jon. Landlord says I'm a gol-darned fool, and that there is no 
spirits in the house, only the bottled ones. But when I come back I 
found my traps out there agaiu. {points) The house is haunted, or 
else there's some low lived feller a foolin' areound in here when I'm 
gone. I'd l'ke to get hold of him, I'd make him think kingdom's 
coming, in abeout two minutes ! 'cause why I'm a shoulder striker, 
from Bottle Flat, {strikes himself on the breast) That's me! {noise 
ofR.) Eh, what's that? {noise) Oh, they're after me this time, 
sure! {runs about excitedly) I wish I had dad's musket I {noise 
again — he runs R. c, trembling) I wish I was tu hum I 

Enter Chris Rt, with newspaper — goes to table, sees carpel sack, etc. 

Chris. Veil if dot don't beat dhe dickeno ! Here I vas put dot 
sarpet cack out, more ash a coople of dimes already, and dhe more I 
puts him out, dhe more he coome? pack. 

Jon. {aside) What's that confounded dutchman a doin' in my 
room? So he's the chap what's been a settin' my things out in the 
entry. I've jest got a little account to settle with him. (aloud) Say 
you 1 

Chris. {looks astonished— runs l.) Vat does I hear, does mine 
eyes deceive mine eye-sight ! A strange man in my room mit a 

strange sarpet cack and a 

Jon. {rushing toward him) I'll strange sarpet cack yeou, yeou 

old limberger, yeou gol-darned — gol-darned — gol 

Chris, (aside) Dose vos some lunatic asylum vat has goteut, I 
must dry and blease him. {aloud) Yah, yah! dot vas all right, I 
know how it vas mintee'.f ! 

Jon. {sparring) I'll show yeo\j how it was yeourself, yeou old — 

old git out of my room, or I swar in abeout three minutes your 

mother wouldn't know yeou ! {strikes Chris who folk, gets up slowly 
Chris, (getting angry) Holt on ! Holt on ! bether you vos not do 
dot more ash a coople or dree dimes, or purty quick I gits mat and 
'den somepody gits hurted ! 

Jonathan spars at Chris who stands quietly at C. — Jonathan prances 

around him, Chris suddenly strikes Jonathan who falls. 
Chris. Dhere, vot I told you! Betther you vos git oop of you 
vant some morel {pauses) He don't vant him. He don't could git 



« LODGINGS FOR TWO. 

©op* (shakes him) Dander! he's gone det! (shouts) Say, to ter 
tyfle mit your foolish n ess! (pauses) He don't vant to doit. 1*11 
UBt run out and get some schnapps, maybe dot'll fetch him. (exit b . 
Jon. (getting up slowly) 'Pears to me as though suthin's happen- 
ed. 1 feel so tarnation strange ! Oh, I remember, (looks around) 
I came to town to see the elephant, and — (rubs his eye) — I kinder 
guess I've seen him. (noise b. — he takes carpet sack of of table, runs 
B., looks of— sits it c, back) There's that infernal dutchman com- 
ing back to finish me. (wrings his hands) Oh, what will I dot 
(noise) Oh dear, I wish I was tu hum ! (noise) I'll possum again, 
he'll think I'm dead. (lying down as be/ore 

Enter Chris R., with bottle, 

Chris. I dought I hear somepody a dalkin', but I guess not. (to 
Jonathan) Here, take some of dot. (off ers bottle) Vot — don'd vant 
him? Vot for you act dot vay ? Better you sthop it. (places bottle 
on table) Veil, dere's no use talkin' to a feller vot ish stubborn like 
dot. (starts) I shust bet you the fool's gone det. (comes forward) 
He don'd got no pizness to run his face rait mine fist dot vay. 
(Jonathan gets up and tip -toes of l.) But dot don'd make any dif- 
ference — he's vent und done it, uud vhat's dhe result? Vhy, here 
1 vas, unddhere he vas, und more as likely he don'd could vaken 
©op till 'lectio n day, py cracious. Eh? vhat you tinks? I tink I 
vae a bully leedly dutchman mit a glass bugle. 

Enter Jonathan as a ghost, h., and stands l. and a little back of Chris. 

Chris. Und I don'd vas afraidt of dhe tuyful himself, (turns 
stowty around and sees ghost — is terribly alarmed, business ad lib. Fi' 
nally ghost throws flour over Chris who with a wild yell runs of.) 

Jon. (throws sheet after him, swings his hat) Go it, sour kraut — 
fee's 'after ye. (holds his sides and laughs) 



CURTAIN. 



AMES' PLAYSr-CO^TESTTTED. 



NO. M. F. 

46 Man and Wife, drama, 5 acts, by H. A. Webber ..12 7 

91 Michael Erie, drama, 2 acts, by Egerton Wilks 8 3 

36 Miller of Derwent Water, drama, 3 acts, by E. Fitzball 5 2 

83 Mischievous Nigger, ethiopean farce, 1 act, by C. White. ..4 2 

34 Mistletoe Bough, melo-drama, 2 acts, by C. Somerset 7 3 

69 Mother's Fool, farce, 1 act, by W. Heuri Wilkins 6 1 

1 Mr. & Mrs. Pringle, farce, 1 act, by Don T. De Treuba Cosio..7 2 

23 My Heart's in the Highlands, farce, 1 act, 4 3 

32 My Wife's Relations, comedietta, 1 act, by Walter Gordon...4 4 
90 No Cure No Pay, ethiopean farce, 1 act, by G. W. H. Griffin..3 1 

61 Not as Deaf as He Seems, ethiopean farce, 1 act, 2 

37 Not so Bad After All, comedy, 3 acts, by Wybert Reeve 6 5 

44 Obedience, comedietta, 1 act, by Hattie L. Lambla 1 2 

81 Old Phil's Birthday, drama, 2 acts, by J. P. Wooler 5 2 

33 On the Sly, farce, 1 act, by John Madison Morton 3 2 

109 Other People's Children, etho farce, 1 act, by A. N. Field 3 2 

85 Outcast's Wife, drama, 3 acts, by Colin H. Hazlewood 12 3 

83 Out on the World, drama, 3 acts, 5 4 

53 Out in the Streets, temp drama, 3 acts, by S. N. Cook 6 4 

57 Paddy Miles' Boy, irish farce, 1 act, by James Pilgrim 5 2 

29 Painter of Ghent, play, 1 ace, by Douglass Jerrold 5 2 

114 Passions, comedy, 4 acts, by F. Marmaduke Dey 8 4 

18 Poacher's Doom, domestic drama, 3 acts, by A. D. Ames 8 3 

51 Rescued, temperance drama, 2 acts, by 0. II. Gilbert 5 3 

110 Reverses, domestic drama, 5 acts, by A. Newton Field....!. 12 6 

45 Rock Allen the Orphan, drama, 1 act, by W. Henri Wilkins. .5 3 

96 Rooms to Let without Board, ethiopean farce, 1 act, 2 1 

59 Saved, temperance sketch, 1 act, by Edwin Tardy..., 2 3 

48 Schnaps, dutch farce, 1 act, by M. A. D. Cliff ton 1 1 

107 School, ethiopean farce, 1 act, by A. Newton Field 5 

115 S. H. A. M. Pinafore, burl'sq, 1 act, by W. Henri Wilkins. ..5 3 

55 Somebody's Nobody, farce, 1 act, by C. A. Maltby 3 2 

94 Sixteen Thousand Years Ago, ethiopean farce, 1 act, 3 

25 Sport with a Sportsman, ethiopean farce, 1 act, 2 

79 Spy of Atlanta, military allegory, acts, by A. D. Ames... 14 3 

92 Stage Struck Darkey, ethiopean farce, 1 act, 2 1 

10 Stocks Up, Stocks Down, ethiopean farce, 1 act, 2 

62 Ten Nights in a Bar Room, temperance drama, 5 acts, 7 3 

64 That Boy Sam, etho farce, 1 act, by F. L. Cutler 3 1 

40 That Mysterious Bundle, farce, 1 act, by H. L. Lambla 2 2 

38 The Bewitched Closet, sketch, 1 act, by H. L. Lambla 5 2 

87 The Biter Bit, comedy, 2 acts, by Barham Livius 5 2 

101 The Coming Man, farce, 1 act, by W. Henri Wilkins 3 1 

67 The False Friend, drama, 2 act, by Geo. S. Vautrot 6 1 

97 The Fatal Blow, melo-drama, 2 acts, by Edward Fitzball. ..7 1 

93 The Gentleman in Black, drama, 2 act,*W. H. Murry 9 4 

112 The New Magdalen, drama, pro 3 acts, by A. Newton Field.. .8 3 

71 The Reward of Crime, drama, 2 acts, by W. Henri Wilkins. .5 3 

16 The Serf, tragedy, 5 acts, by R. Talbot 6 3 

68 The Sham Professor, furco, 1 act, by F. L. Cutler 4 

6 The Studio, ethiopean farce, 1 act, 3 

102 Turn of the Tide, temp drama, 3 acts, by W. Henri Wilkins. ..7 4 
54 The Two T. J's, farce, 1 act, by Martin Beecher 4 2 

@gf Catalogue continued on last page of cover, "fg^ 



!ll!!Vi™i^mTiljSlllliiP 0,SJGRESS 

016 102 894 tf 



"AMATEUR THEATRICAL RECORD." 



A Paper Especially for Amateurs. 



We call your attention to this advertisement of "The Amateur Theatrical 
Record," a paper now being issued by us, and earnestly ask your support of 
the same, not only good will, but subscription. Please read carefully. 

The Ohjeet. There are hundreds of Amateur Companies in the United 
States and Canada, and thousands of Amateur players, and some organiza- 
tions give performances during the entire year, others for a few months on- 
ly. This class of people had no paper devoted to their interests until the 
Record was established. In its columns are noticed all new plays, as is- 
sued, all manner of inquiries relative to the stage are answered. A complete 
list of our Edition of dramas is given in each issue. Correspondence from 
Amateur Companies is given, stating what is produced, and with what suc- 
cess. An important feature is the publication of a short farce in each issue, 
making the value in a year $1.80, for these alone — more than three times 
the charge for subscription. Everything is done, that can be, to m?ke it of 
great value to the people it is published for. Is a 6 column folio, and issued 
monthly from our office. 

We want a correspondent in every city, town and hamlet, where a public 
entertainment is given, to send us programmes, and report the success of 
the performances. 

An important item in the life of the paper, is a good list of paying subscri- 
bers. We do not wish to make money on it — only desire it to pay its own 
way. Our profit will be on our Plays. The subscription will be 50 cents 
per year — 30 cents for six months, and 15 cents for three months. Any 
person who may wish to form a club, will on application receive special 
rates. To any one ordering Plays to the amount of $3.00, from our own list 
at one time, the paper will be sent free for one year. We expect to make 
the RECORD of so much value to every Amateur, that they cannot afford to 
be without it. You who read this, will you please enclose the subscription 
price in 1, 2 or 3 cent postage stamps, and send to us at once. 

A favor will be shown us, by every one interested, if they will work a lit- 
tle for us. Send us the name of the Manager of every Amateur Company 
you know of, and we will send him a sample copy of the paper. We want 
to know the address of every Manager in the United States and Canada. 
We wish to receive a letter from every person who may read this, with a 
subscription, also any suggestion, etc. about the paper. 

Address A. D. AMES, 

Dramatic Publisher, 

CLYDE, OHIO. 



